About this event
Mindful Dating is a 3 hr dating event for people who would actually quite like to meet someone naturally — but perhaps need somewhere for the naturally to happen. :)
So we create it.
You put your phone away. We make some tea. A room fills up with other single people. And instead of leaving you to stand around clutching a drink and trying to think of something more interesting than *“So… what do you do?”*, we help get things moving.
The first part of the evening is a little like a playful workshop. There are conversations, games, movement, music and different ways of meeting each other designed to break the ice and get us past the usual small talk.
Nothing too serious. Nothing you have to be good at. And absolutely nothing you have to participate in if you don't want to.
The idea is simply to make it easier to actually meet.
And then, gradually, we turn you loose. :)
There are plenty of breaks to mingle throughout the evening, and as things get more relaxed, there’s more room to follow your own curiosity. Talk to someone. Flirt a little. Go back and find the person you liked earlier. Dance. Sit together. Drink tea. Laugh. See what happens.
By the end, we put out food, turn up the music and stop facilitating. People are welcome to stay, eat, talk, dance and hang out.
And they do. Sometimes for quite a while. There is no required outcome. The point is to create a room where meeting other humans feels fun again.
*** The vibe ***
Warm. Playful. Open. A little adventurous. Phones away. No alcohol. No trying to shout over nightclub music. And hopefully much less of that peculiar dating experience where two people are simultaneously trying to determine whether the other person likes them while pretending not to care.
You are welcome to approach people here. You are welcome to flirt. You are welcome to tell someone you enjoyed meeting them. You are welcome to ask someone if they'd like to see you again. And you're equally welcome to say no.
*** And afterward? ***
At the end of the evening you have the opportunity to fill out matching cards, if you match also picks you, you'll get a message from us the following day.
When the facilitated part ends, you don't have to go home. We put out food and tea, leave the music on and give everyone time to hang out. This is often one of the nicest parts of the evening. People talk, laugh, dance, go back to someone they wanted to speak to again, exchange numbers and generally stop behaving as though they're attending an organized dating event. Which is rather the point.
There will also be a WhatsApp sign-up sheet for anyone who wants an easy way to stay connected with people from the evening.
*** A few practical things ***
**What should I wear?**
There is no dress code. Wear something you feel attractive in but can also comfortably move, dance and sit on the floor in.
**What about phones?**
The idea is to put them away for the event. The rest of the world will almost certainly survive without us for three hours.
**Age groups**
age 35-47 & age 47-65 together
Due to feedback we did (for a time) make two separate events (one for age 35-47 and one for age 47-65) but... we had about 12-16 people in each group, and this wasn't economical for us to run events like this. So... we don't find it such a problem to run an event with 30 people in it, in mixed age groups. Also because people in the 45-55 might be in the same dating category anyway! ;) And also... sometimes people's dating pools go between groups as well, so it seems actually still better to have an event with both groups present!
So please feel free to join at any age, there is a good spread, and good attendance, and you should be able to find your people :)
**Gender & orientation**
All genders and orientations are welcome.
At our current mixed dating events, tickets are divided by binary gender because we're trying to maintain a reasonable balance for heterosexual participants and make the evening genuinely workable as a dating event. Last-minute cancellations happen, so we can never guarantee an exact balance.
We would also love to host dedicated LGBTQ+ editions. If you'd be interested, please get in touch — hearing from people helps us understand where the demand is.
And keep an eye out for our poly/ENM/open-relationship editions as well.
**Language**
This event will primarily be facilitated in English, but Dutch is absolutely welcome. I speak both and can clarify or translate whenever needed.
You're welcome to speak whichever language feels most natural to you when you're talking with other guests. If the whole room unexpectedly turns out to be Dutch-speaking, we'll probably just switch languages. :)
**Getting there**
There is plenty of parking at the venue. Parking is free after 19:00 on weekdays and on weekends.
Metrostation Isolatorweg (lines 50 and 51) is only a few minutes' walk away.
If you're coming from outside Amsterdam, Amsterdam Sloterdijk is the nearest major NS station, approximately 1.4 km from the venue. From there you can transfer to the metro toward Isolatorweg.
*** One last thing ***
You don't need to come to HOKU determined to find *The One*. Come because you're single or open. Come because you'd like to meet some new people. Come because dating apps are getting old. Come because spending an evening talking, flirting, dancing, eating and laughing with a room full of people you haven't met yet sounds considerably better than spending another evening looking at them through a screen.
We'll get you past the awkward beginning. After that, let's see what happens. ;)
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